angst, slight fluff / pg13 / drabble
Yoochun wakes up at the smell of cigarettes.
baby it's cold outside
Yoochun wakes up at the smell of cigarettes which he never liked for a reason that it triggers his asthma attacks. He shivers, noticing the balcony door open, letting in the cold winter breeze. With a sigh, he puts on a sweater and grabs another one from the closet before stepping out the balcony. He finds his pajama clad lover leaning against the railing, seeming to be in a deep thought. Yoochun snatches the cancer stick from the other’s hand, throwing it harshly on the floor. “I thought you quit. What’s up?” he asks, carefully wrapping the sweater around his lover.
“I…I don’t know. Yoochun, it’s getting worse isn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Junsu. Let’s go back inside before you catch a cold.” Yoochun could only blink back his tears as he drags Junsu back their room and lulls him to sleep.
Yoochun’s eyes flutter open at the disturbing sound coming from the bathroom. He does not panic, and instead, he takes a deep breath before getting up. In there, he finds Junsu holding onto the toilet seat, puking his guts out. It isn’t exactly a pretty sight, but he’s used to seeing that display everyday of every week.
Junsu could feel tears sting his eyes. It was disgusting, he is disgusting. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and stares at himself in the mirror - his cheeks have become more hollow than it already is, the bony arms and wrists he now has, and when he pulls his shirt up, he could almost see his ribcage. He pulls the item of clothing down when a pair of arms wrap around his waist. “I look terrible, don’t I?” he laughs it off but the owner of the arms is keeping a straight face.
“Yes, you look so beautiful.” Yoochun smiles.
“Yoochun, I—” he looks at him through the mirror and the way Yoochun looks at him lovingly makes him want to tear up and hug him all night long. He blinks back the tears and for the first time that day, lets out a smile. “I’m okay.”
“Yoochun, I can’t”
“Yes Junsu, you can. Trust me. Now, eat up. You’re skin and bones. You don’t want your brother to see you like that, do you?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then do as I say.”
“But what if I—“
“Kim Junsu just fucking eat the food!” Junsu stands up and storms out of the dining room. When Yoochun hears the familiar slam of the bedroom door, he slumps back his chair. He didn’t mean to snap at him. He was frustrated. Junsu should know better than to push his buttons. With an exasperated sigh, he runs a hand through his raven locks.
The same thing happens everyday— him trying to convince Junsu to eat although he knows that he would only refuse so they would sit in the dining table for hours and hours just to get Junsu to take a bite of a sandwich or a spoonful of rice. All he wants is for Junsu to eat something. Just something. Even a bowl of soup would suffice. Yoochun has always been patient. Too patient, in fact. So when he snaps, Junsu would always walk out and lock himself up in their room. Junsu’s not upset though, he’s scared. He’s already admitted that when they had their biggest fight back then. He’s scared that Yoochun would leave him. When Yoochun realizes he’s had enough of everything, he’d find someone better— someone healthy, someone who doesn’t need to be fed, someone who can take care of himself.
Someone who isn’t weak, like him.
Yoochun sighs. Junsu and his insecurities. The number of times he’s promised the love of his life than none of what he thinks would happen is countless but Junsu needs constant assurance. And he figures, as long as it puts Junsu’s mind at ease, he doesn’t mind reminding him every single day that they’re stuck with each other for the rest of their lives.
Staring at the food in front of him, he decides that dinner time is over. He gets up and cleans the table, taking his time. If he doesn’t hear the door opening and hurried footsteps soon, then he’s going to have to make the move to cheer his little ball of sunshine up. “Okay he’s not coming out.” he says to no one in particular and grabs a bag of cookies just in case Junsu changes his mind and wants to eat.
As soon as he opens the bedroom door, he gets an armful of his sobbing lover. Dropping the cookies on the floor, he immediately wraps his arms around him. “Baby, don’t cry. I’m not mad at you.”
He tightens his hold on the smaller man, shushing him. “No. No baby,” Junsu looks up at him and he frowns at his tear-stained face. “Oh Junsu.” He showers his face with soft and comforting kisses, silently apologizing for snapping at him. Pulling Junsu closer, he places a kiss on his trembling lips.
“I was scared…” Junsu mumbles almost inaudibly. “I…I…”
“I know.” Running a hand through his lover’s soft locks, he lets him wrap his legs around his torso.
“I just can’t, Yoochunnie…”
“I know baby. I understand.”
With Junsu wrapped around him like a koala, he heads to the balcony, pressing kisses on Junsu’s head as the latter nuzzles his neck. His heart is breaking at the fact that his boyfriend is so light and extremely out of shape. Although the man has been undergoing therapy, he still has a long way to go. But Junsu has nothing to worry about for he has Yoochun. And with him, they’ll get through this battle together.
originally a drabble which i posted ages ago. well, it's still a drabble but a slightly longer one. i'm not sure if i did a good job at this but i'll just pretend i did :) the title has nothing to do with the story, i just like how it sounds lol