lunacy. emptiness. panic. delusion. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kingheechul) wrote2012-08-23 12:09 am
kingheechul) wrote2012-08-23 12:09 am
jaejoong and his boyfriends
title: jaejoong and his boyfriends
pairing(s): eventual yunho/jaejoong, jaejoong/everyone, keita/jaejoong
genre: romance
rating: pg13
length: one shot
summary: Four failed relationships after, Jaejoong might have found his happily ever after.
a/n: sort of the same concept as "heechul and his boyfriends" and yes, heechul is in here 'cause he's awesome like that. the spacing is messed up homg whyyy
-
There’s this something I stole from a boy two years my junior— his first kiss. I didn’t really know what has gotten into me but at that time, his lips just looked so delectable and I couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t my first kiss but it was quite better than my actual first. We were acquaintances, not friends so I definitely had no right to invade his personal space. I think I made him cry, I’m not sure. But I have a feeling that I did. His name is Shim Changmin by the way, a tall guy who pisses everyone off with his sarcasm. He ignored me for a week. He avoided me like a plague which is quite annoying and stupid because for one, it was just a kiss, a simple one with no meaning at all. And two, it’s not like I’m not gonna make a move to kiss him again.
But then again, we’re merely friends and I’m not worth his time. Oh yes, if you must know, I’m a bit of a drama queen—king…queen. I knew no matter how hard I try to make him talk to me, my efforts just won’t pay off so I let him be. I would ignore him just as how he would ignore me. Frankly speaking, it wasn’t that hard considering that we originally don’t talk much although we exchange hi’s and hello’s.
“You scared the kid.”
I really need not be reminded of that more obvious than obvious fact.
“Yes Hyunjoong, I scared the crap out of him. It was just a kiss though.”
“It wasn’t just a kiss!” disturbingly amazing, that was Changmin eavesdropping. “That was my first kiss and you have to be responsible!”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like getting someone pregnant, Jaejoong. You’re to be held responsible for stealing his first kiss. Go out with him. Date him.” Really, must he say something like that? He’s supposed to be my best friend for fuck’s sake.
“He’s right. You should date me. I feel so used.” That guy is really something and they were both seriously ganging up on me. As if I had any more choice.
I didn’t think that Changmin would be such a brat. I, at the start of our so-called relationship, have made it clear that I don’t really see him as a lover, just someone I owe something, like a debtor. But he kept on insisting that I should fall for him because apparently, he likes me and he simply took advantage of the situation we are in.
“Why didn’t you tell me he likes me?!”
If I could remember clearly, I barged in my younger brother’s room, demanding an answer. “I felt like you didn’t need to know.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but that is something you should’ve told me.”
“Still your fault. You kissed him.”
Changmin would cling onto me and I would try hard not to push him away and hurt his feelings. He’s quite sensitive. He likes dates and so we would go out during weekends and hangout. Unfortunately though, he has a big appetite and he made me pay for everything. So to say, he’s basically the reason why I’m always broke and I ranted to my brother about it. But he told me it was a punishment for doing something so stupid. And I wondered if what I did was really that unforgivable.
Everyone at school knew of my relationship with Changmin and they’re all convinced that our feelings are mutual. I had to act that I like the guy. I didn’t want people to say anything that would upset him.
“I’m sorry Kibum, but I don’t think I can really like Changmin the way he wants me to.” I confessed to my brother one time, after one and a half year of dating Changmin. It was harsh, yes, but I had to be honest. I tried, but it’s just not meant to be. The only reply I got from him was tell Changmin, not me. And so I did, with a heavy heart.
The problem isn’t just my feelings for him. I was a senior, preparing for college. And college isn’t a joke. I had to be serious about it. Let’s say if I continued my relationship with the kid, what would happen to us? I would be busy doing school stuff, we can’t have dates anymore. He would whine about me not having no time for him and it will lead to an argument and worse, a break-up. He cried, oh boy he did. A lot. And I had to be by his side all day long just so he could calm down. He said I hate him, but I don’t. I never did.
After the break-up, I never saw him again. Kibum told me that Changmin didn’t want to see me so he could move on. I respected his decision and also moved on with my life although there really is no need for me to do so.
My second relationship was during my sophomore year in college. The name’s Park Yoochun, a music major like me. I would always find him in the music room, playing the piano and I would silently watch him in awe. But apparently, he knew I was watching him all along. You could say I was embarrassed upon knowing the harsh truth. From then on, I would pay him a visit every now and then and we would have small talks.
It started from there, yes. Then like any other love stories, love blossomed. We were happy, but then it felt like we weren’t in a relationship at all. Nothing much has changed even if we were together. Although we both knew we have a special place in each other’s hearts, us being together as a couple just won’t work out.
My relationship with Yoochun was short-lived but as the saying goes, ‘when the door closes, a window opens’. And I could confidently say it’s true. Kim Junsu was a total sweetheart and I liked him a lot. I remember the time when I asked him out, I was surprised myself. I wasn’t supposed to, I had no intention to do so but I did it anyway. I didn’t want him to find out I like him, I thought he would freak out but apparently, he was a brave kid who liked me back.
Junsu was a kid at heart and that exactly was my problem with him. He’s too childish for me to handle. He has the tendency to irritate me with his immaturity. He would throw tantrums and hissy fits when things don’t go his way.
“No Junsu, I’m busy. I’m sorry I can’t go.”
“But hyung I need you there. I can’t practice well when you’re not with me. Please?”
“How many times do I have to tell you I need to finish my report first? I barely have time to do it. And besides, don’t I alwa—”
“You hate me.”
“Excuse me, what?”
“I said you hate me.”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do. If you don’t, you’ll go to my soccer practice.” I remember how he was looking at me with judging eyes, his arms crossed on his chest. “Now go. I changed my mind.” He pushed me away, shooing me. “I’ll be fine without you.” I knew he was lying. He does that all the time. I would find him at my doorstep later, waiting for me like the good kid that he is. “I’m sorry.” He would apologize and offer me a bag of candies, thinking that it’d make things better. I wouldn’t lie though, it helps.
I knew I wasn’t the one for him so I ended it with him eventually. As expected, he didn’t take it so well. He went as far as calling his twin brother to scold me for hurting his feelings. Now that I think about it, I don’t and would never understand how his mind works.
If Junsu was immature, my next boyfriend wasn’t. Probably because he was older than me, way older than I am. I met him when Yoochun and I were watching a concert in Japan. His name is Keita Tachibana, a lounge singer. Within the five months that I was in the country, I would visit him at the club he’s working at while Yoochun would go sightseeing alone or stay in our apartment. He doesn’t mind, not at all. As long as I’m happy with who I’m with, he won’t complain. Keita was nice, caring, loving, everything anyone could wish for a man.
“This is too good to be true,” I told Yoochun one time. He looked at me, laughed softly and nodded while muttering an almost inaudible tell me about it. There was something in the way he said it that made me wary but I didn’t dwell on it.
I should’ve known. I really should have. Apparently, Keita’s a married man. I found out while I was having lunch with him then someone grabbed me by the collar and slapped me hard. I was beyond embarrassed, I did the only thing I could do— run away. Keita knew he owed me an explanation, and he did try to talk to me a few days after the incident. He fell in love with me, tried to tell me he has a wife and a kid but didn’t have the chance to because he didn’t want to hurt me. That was the last time we talked.
And that’s the reason why I’m at the bar right now, drowning myself in alcohol. I’m practically here on a daily basis, moping around like a food. Here I met Kim Heechul. Eccentric, the best word I could describe him. He tried to cheer me up with his weird antics but to no avail. “I say you’re gonna die in five years time.”
“Psychic. Who gave you the right to predict my death?” He shrugged, took the cancer stick from my mouth and broke it in half. “Hey, that’s my last one.”
“Perfect. You know Jaejoong, get over it. It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it. You look bloody miserable!”
“But I’m not.”
“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” He then jerked upright, smiled at me like he won the lottery and shook my arm. “I can hook you up with someone.” I rolled my eyes at him and slapped his arm.
“No. I can take care of my own love life thank you very much. And besides, I don’t want to be in a relationship yet. I’m scared.” I told him, mumbling the last part. “I’d rather focus on my studies right now.” I continued, playing with the empty shot glass.
“Who are you kidding? You’re at the bar at two in the afternoon. Well, whatever floats your boat. I’m outta here.” I blinked and grabbed his arm as he stood up. “Yes?”
“Don’t leave. Please?” he looked at me for a good while before he sighed and plopped back down his seat. I smiled. A few more hours of drinking after, Heechul was wasted. I bet he couldn’t recognize me at the state he’s in; he could even barely open his eyes. He’s hopeless.
Pulling him up, I snaked an arm around his waist to steady him. “Need help?” I looked up to see a tall man smiling softly at me. I shook my head and continued to go through my misery that is Heechul. “I insist.” He took the liberty to take Heechul from me and carry him. “You look familiar.” He told me as we made our way out of the bar.
I spared him a glance. “Hmm?”
“You look like my next boyfriend.” I chuckled, shaking my head. “That was lame, wasn’t it?” I nodded in response. “You’re not mute, are you?” Again, I shook my head.
“I’m Jaejoong.” For some odd reason, I felt like I have to introduce myself to him. I didn’t ask who he was but he told me his name is Yunho. “Yunho,” I said, his name tasting foreign on my tongue. What the heck. I said I wasn’t ready for another relationship but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to date. “Say, coffee after dropping this drunkard off?”
But then again, we’re merely friends and I’m not worth his time. Oh yes, if you must know, I’m a bit of a drama queen—king…queen. I knew no matter how hard I try to make him talk to me, my efforts just won’t pay off so I let him be. I would ignore him just as how he would ignore me. Frankly speaking, it wasn’t that hard considering that we originally don’t talk much although we exchange hi’s and hello’s.
“You scared the kid.”
I really need not be reminded of that more obvious than obvious fact.
“Yes Hyunjoong, I scared the crap out of him. It was just a kiss though.”
“It wasn’t just a kiss!” disturbingly amazing, that was Changmin eavesdropping. “That was my first kiss and you have to be responsible!”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like getting someone pregnant, Jaejoong. You’re to be held responsible for stealing his first kiss. Go out with him. Date him.” Really, must he say something like that? He’s supposed to be my best friend for fuck’s sake.
“He’s right. You should date me. I feel so used.” That guy is really something and they were both seriously ganging up on me. As if I had any more choice.
I didn’t think that Changmin would be such a brat. I, at the start of our so-called relationship, have made it clear that I don’t really see him as a lover, just someone I owe something, like a debtor. But he kept on insisting that I should fall for him because apparently, he likes me and he simply took advantage of the situation we are in.
“Why didn’t you tell me he likes me?!”
If I could remember clearly, I barged in my younger brother’s room, demanding an answer. “I felt like you didn’t need to know.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but that is something you should’ve told me.”
“Still your fault. You kissed him.”
Changmin would cling onto me and I would try hard not to push him away and hurt his feelings. He’s quite sensitive. He likes dates and so we would go out during weekends and hangout. Unfortunately though, he has a big appetite and he made me pay for everything. So to say, he’s basically the reason why I’m always broke and I ranted to my brother about it. But he told me it was a punishment for doing something so stupid. And I wondered if what I did was really that unforgivable.
Everyone at school knew of my relationship with Changmin and they’re all convinced that our feelings are mutual. I had to act that I like the guy. I didn’t want people to say anything that would upset him.
“I’m sorry Kibum, but I don’t think I can really like Changmin the way he wants me to.” I confessed to my brother one time, after one and a half year of dating Changmin. It was harsh, yes, but I had to be honest. I tried, but it’s just not meant to be. The only reply I got from him was tell Changmin, not me. And so I did, with a heavy heart.
The problem isn’t just my feelings for him. I was a senior, preparing for college. And college isn’t a joke. I had to be serious about it. Let’s say if I continued my relationship with the kid, what would happen to us? I would be busy doing school stuff, we can’t have dates anymore. He would whine about me not having no time for him and it will lead to an argument and worse, a break-up. He cried, oh boy he did. A lot. And I had to be by his side all day long just so he could calm down. He said I hate him, but I don’t. I never did.
After the break-up, I never saw him again. Kibum told me that Changmin didn’t want to see me so he could move on. I respected his decision and also moved on with my life although there really is no need for me to do so.
My second relationship was during my sophomore year in college. The name’s Park Yoochun, a music major like me. I would always find him in the music room, playing the piano and I would silently watch him in awe. But apparently, he knew I was watching him all along. You could say I was embarrassed upon knowing the harsh truth. From then on, I would pay him a visit every now and then and we would have small talks.
It started from there, yes. Then like any other love stories, love blossomed. We were happy, but then it felt like we weren’t in a relationship at all. Nothing much has changed even if we were together. Although we both knew we have a special place in each other’s hearts, us being together as a couple just won’t work out.
My relationship with Yoochun was short-lived but as the saying goes, ‘when the door closes, a window opens’. And I could confidently say it’s true. Kim Junsu was a total sweetheart and I liked him a lot. I remember the time when I asked him out, I was surprised myself. I wasn’t supposed to, I had no intention to do so but I did it anyway. I didn’t want him to find out I like him, I thought he would freak out but apparently, he was a brave kid who liked me back.
Junsu was a kid at heart and that exactly was my problem with him. He’s too childish for me to handle. He has the tendency to irritate me with his immaturity. He would throw tantrums and hissy fits when things don’t go his way.
“No Junsu, I’m busy. I’m sorry I can’t go.”
“But hyung I need you there. I can’t practice well when you’re not with me. Please?”
“How many times do I have to tell you I need to finish my report first? I barely have time to do it. And besides, don’t I alwa—”
“You hate me.”
“Excuse me, what?”
“I said you hate me.”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do. If you don’t, you’ll go to my soccer practice.” I remember how he was looking at me with judging eyes, his arms crossed on his chest. “Now go. I changed my mind.” He pushed me away, shooing me. “I’ll be fine without you.” I knew he was lying. He does that all the time. I would find him at my doorstep later, waiting for me like the good kid that he is. “I’m sorry.” He would apologize and offer me a bag of candies, thinking that it’d make things better. I wouldn’t lie though, it helps.
I knew I wasn’t the one for him so I ended it with him eventually. As expected, he didn’t take it so well. He went as far as calling his twin brother to scold me for hurting his feelings. Now that I think about it, I don’t and would never understand how his mind works.
If Junsu was immature, my next boyfriend wasn’t. Probably because he was older than me, way older than I am. I met him when Yoochun and I were watching a concert in Japan. His name is Keita Tachibana, a lounge singer. Within the five months that I was in the country, I would visit him at the club he’s working at while Yoochun would go sightseeing alone or stay in our apartment. He doesn’t mind, not at all. As long as I’m happy with who I’m with, he won’t complain. Keita was nice, caring, loving, everything anyone could wish for a man.
“This is too good to be true,” I told Yoochun one time. He looked at me, laughed softly and nodded while muttering an almost inaudible tell me about it. There was something in the way he said it that made me wary but I didn’t dwell on it.
I should’ve known. I really should have. Apparently, Keita’s a married man. I found out while I was having lunch with him then someone grabbed me by the collar and slapped me hard. I was beyond embarrassed, I did the only thing I could do— run away. Keita knew he owed me an explanation, and he did try to talk to me a few days after the incident. He fell in love with me, tried to tell me he has a wife and a kid but didn’t have the chance to because he didn’t want to hurt me. That was the last time we talked.
And that’s the reason why I’m at the bar right now, drowning myself in alcohol. I’m practically here on a daily basis, moping around like a food. Here I met Kim Heechul. Eccentric, the best word I could describe him. He tried to cheer me up with his weird antics but to no avail. “I say you’re gonna die in five years time.”
“Psychic. Who gave you the right to predict my death?” He shrugged, took the cancer stick from my mouth and broke it in half. “Hey, that’s my last one.”
“Perfect. You know Jaejoong, get over it. It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it. You look bloody miserable!”
“But I’m not.”
“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” He then jerked upright, smiled at me like he won the lottery and shook my arm. “I can hook you up with someone.” I rolled my eyes at him and slapped his arm.
“No. I can take care of my own love life thank you very much. And besides, I don’t want to be in a relationship yet. I’m scared.” I told him, mumbling the last part. “I’d rather focus on my studies right now.” I continued, playing with the empty shot glass.
“Who are you kidding? You’re at the bar at two in the afternoon. Well, whatever floats your boat. I’m outta here.” I blinked and grabbed his arm as he stood up. “Yes?”
“Don’t leave. Please?” he looked at me for a good while before he sighed and plopped back down his seat. I smiled. A few more hours of drinking after, Heechul was wasted. I bet he couldn’t recognize me at the state he’s in; he could even barely open his eyes. He’s hopeless.
Pulling him up, I snaked an arm around his waist to steady him. “Need help?” I looked up to see a tall man smiling softly at me. I shook my head and continued to go through my misery that is Heechul. “I insist.” He took the liberty to take Heechul from me and carry him. “You look familiar.” He told me as we made our way out of the bar.
I spared him a glance. “Hmm?”
“You look like my next boyfriend.” I chuckled, shaking my head. “That was lame, wasn’t it?” I nodded in response. “You’re not mute, are you?” Again, I shook my head.
“I’m Jaejoong.” For some odd reason, I felt like I have to introduce myself to him. I didn’t ask who he was but he told me his name is Yunho. “Yunho,” I said, his name tasting foreign on my tongue. What the heck. I said I wasn’t ready for another relationship but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to date. “Say, coffee after dropping this drunkard off?”