lunacy. emptiness. panic. delusion. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kingheechul) wrote2010-04-23 04:38 am
kingheechul) wrote2010-04-23 04:38 am
broken vow
broken vow
yoochun/junsu
drama, romance, angst ; pg13 ; oneshot
"Hey, it's me Junsu. Don't you remember me?"
{edit:revised, rewritten, re-everything}
originally a het fic. enjoy! ^^
I sighed for the umpteenth time and looked at the ring on my finger. It's been what, ten years since I last saw him. But I still remember the promise he made. It's all still clear to me.
Wait for me my Su. I'll come back for you. We're gonna get married, start a family and live a happy life. I promise you that, Kim Junsu. I love you.
Those were the exact words he uttered before leaving me. Funny, isn't it? It's been so long and yet I'm still waiting for him. My brothers have been persuading me to quit waiting and start dating other guys but I just can't. I have waited for then years and another ten won't hurt.
Although I can't help but question, is he ever coming back?
"Thinking about him?" I turned around and saw my brother, Heechul, leaning against the door frame. He didn't need to hear my response to know what the answer is. It's all too obvious. All I've been doing is think about him night and day. What does he look like? Did he grow taller? Is he already matured? What? I heard Heechul hyung sigh as he took a seat beside me on my bed.
"I can't help it." I muttered.
"Is he really that hard to forget? I mean, come on Junsu, there are lots of guys out there. Guys like Hyukjae. He's been wooing you for years now. Is he not good enough for you.
"He's not him." I replied and got a glare for it. "It's not that easy. Hyukjae is a nice guy, yes, but I don't feel anything special for him. I can't possibly accept him when I know that I'm just going to hurt him. Not intentionally but I still will."
Heechul hyung put his arm over my shoulder. "But you have to forget him. Eventually. What if he never comes back?" I frowned. "I'm not being a pessimist, okay? Just stating what ifs because Junsu, you can't really tell if he's coming back or not. But remember, Jungsoo hyung and I are here for you. Talk to us anytime."
I flashed him a smile and rested my head on his shoulder. He may be a little too much about being a brother but I still love him.
I made my way to the nearest grocery store after being asked to buy instant ramyun packages. As I was checking out the racks, I saw a familiar figure. I squinted my eyes to get a better look and gasped at the sight.
My heart started to thump rapidly, trying to process everything in my head. It can't be him, right? I wanted to know. I wanted to make sure. As I walked closer to him, I couldn't help but smile widely. It is him. It is Yoochun, my Park Yoochun.
I didn't hesitate to throw myself at him, giving him a bone-crushing hug that wasn't even enough to tell him how much I missed him. "I missed you." I said, about to hug him tighter when he pushed me away.
I'm not going to lie, I did feel my heart aching from his action. He looked at me, confused. "Excuse me, who are you?"
"Don't you remember me? I'm Junsu, your friend." I said almost desperately. I don't know what's wrong but I want him to remember me.
"I'm sorry but I don't know you." he replied and walked away.
I looked at his retreating back, a tear sliding down my cheek. Yoochunnnie it's me, Junsu.
"Where are my noodles?" I was asked as soon as I stepped foot in the house. I didn't bother to answer and headed up to my room, hearing Heechul hyung call me as I passed by his room.
With a heavy sigh, I laid down my bed and stared at the ceiling, tears threatening to fall off my eyes. Once again, I stared at the ring. Our ring. I twisted it until it finally slipped out of my finger. I slipped it back again. As much as I sound pathetic right now, I am not giving up on him. If he doesn't remember me, then something must've happened, right? A lot could happen in ten years.
The door creaked open and Jungsoo hyung walked in. "Junsu baby..." he trailed off, sitting on my bed. He placed my head on his lap, stroking my hair carefully. "Care to tell hyung what happened?"
I sighed. "He's back. Yoochunnie's back."
"That's good news Junsu. You don't seem happy about it."
"I am happy. But he doesn't remember me at all." I confessed. There was no reason to hide it from him.
"Are you sure? Maybe he's messing around."
"No, I know him. I know him too well. He doesn't joke around like this." Again, I sighed. "Hyung, what should I do? He doesn't even remember me."
"If he doesn't, then why don't you make him remember you?"
I stalked him. I followed Yoochun around for weeks, to find out where he lives an what he does. Much to my surprise, he was a photographer. As far as I could remember, he never liked taking pictures. He always wanted to be a chef. It confused me but I paid no heed to it.
It has been two months and I think I'm ready to face him. I stood in front of his house and waited until the front door opened. He walked out and I ran towards him. He looked at me with his brows furrowed. "You're the guy from the grocery store. Who are you really and why are you here?"
"Hey, it's me Junsu. Don't you remember me?"
"I told you, I don't know you."
"I don't believe you." I said through gritted teeth. "I know you know me. Why don't you just admit it. Is it because of the promise, huh? Do you have someone else now? If so, I'm not mad, really. Just...just please don't avoid me and pretend that you don't know me." Tears started to stroll down my cheek but I didn't even bother wiping it. I was too frustrated to care. "You have no idea how much it hurts. I've waited for you for ten years and this is what I get?!"
"Look, mister. I don't really know you. I'm not lying. You've probably mistaken me for someone else."
"No!" I yelled. "I know it's you!" I dropped on my knees, sobbing like a pathetic child. "It's you Yoochunnie..."
"Y-yoochun?" I looked up and saw him looking at me with wide eyes. "You mean, Park Yoochun?"
Slowly, I nodded, my sobs replaced with soft hiccups. "It's you, isn't it?"
"We need to talk." he replied, pulling me up then dragged me in his house. "I'm not Park Yoochun." he said as we settled on the couch. He looked at me. "My name's Park Micky. I'm his twin brother."
"T-twin brother?"
"Yes. By any chance, are you Su?"
I nodded frantically. "Yes. Yes! Why? Where's Yoochunnie? Please tell me where he is."
He looked at me rather sadly and spoke, "He's dead."
I blinked, and blinked, then blinked some more. "I...no. No no no," I whispered over and over like a mantra, tears begging to fall off my eyes. "That's not true. That can't be true! He promised me! He promised me we're going to get married and start a family together. No no Micky ssi. Please tell me you're lying. Please tell me..."
"I'm not." he replied, pulling me in a hug. "I'm sorry but I'm not lying. He had brain cancer," he started telling me. All I could do was listen, clutching on to his shirt for dear life. "That was why we moved to America. The best doctors for his illness are there. He was doing okay until his fifth year. His organs were starting to malfunction and he had to be operated immediately. The doctors tried their best but apparently, it wasn't enough. When they told us he doesn't have more than a week to live, he desperately wanted to go back here so he could spend his last days with you. Our parents didn't allow him. He was so miserable and all I could do was try to cheer him up. I really felt so sorry for him. You wanna know a secret?" he chuckled softly and I looked up at him. "It was still you in the end. Your name was the last thing he said before he left us."
I sobbed harder. I still couldn't believe that he left me. Micky pulled away and walked off somewhere. I cried my heart out. "Here," he said, handing me a box. When I asked why, he just smiled. "Just open it."
And so I did. There were letters, lots and lots of it. "Those are all for you." he told me. "Everyday, he never failed to write something for you. I wondered why and he told me those are for when you meet again. So he could read them all to you personally. He couldn't stop talking about it. It's like everytime we talk, it's all about you."
"Thank you." I said. "Thank you for telling me."
He shook his head. "No. You don't have to. I never thought I'd find you. I'm sorry. It's been five years and I never even bothered looking for you. To make it up to you, do you wanna see him?" I clutched the box to my chest and nodded.
As I stood in front of his grave, I tried my hardest not to cry. I don't want him to see me looking so pathetic. I have to be strong for him. I knelt down and placed the flowers Micky and I bought for him. They're his favorite.
"Yoochunnie, it's me, your Su." I said, blinking back the tears. Be strong, Junsu. "How's it up there? Do you miss me? You have to because I miss you so much. It's a pity that we didn't get to see each other again but I don't have to worry, right? I can still see you. We can be together in our next life, right? So wait for me. I'll be with you soon. I promise. I love you so much Yoochunnie." As I professed my love for him, a genuine smile formed my lips.
Just then, a gush of wind passed by and I know, I just know that it's him saying I love you too, my Su.
yoochun/junsu
drama, romance, angst ; pg13 ; oneshot
"Hey, it's me Junsu. Don't you remember me?"
{edit:revised, rewritten, re-everything}
originally a het fic. enjoy! ^^
{i'd give away my soul to hold you once again}
I sighed for the umpteenth time and looked at the ring on my finger. It's been what, ten years since I last saw him. But I still remember the promise he made. It's all still clear to me.
Wait for me my Su. I'll come back for you. We're gonna get married, start a family and live a happy life. I promise you that, Kim Junsu. I love you.
Those were the exact words he uttered before leaving me. Funny, isn't it? It's been so long and yet I'm still waiting for him. My brothers have been persuading me to quit waiting and start dating other guys but I just can't. I have waited for then years and another ten won't hurt.
Although I can't help but question, is he ever coming back?
"Thinking about him?" I turned around and saw my brother, Heechul, leaning against the door frame. He didn't need to hear my response to know what the answer is. It's all too obvious. All I've been doing is think about him night and day. What does he look like? Did he grow taller? Is he already matured? What? I heard Heechul hyung sigh as he took a seat beside me on my bed.
"I can't help it." I muttered.
"Is he really that hard to forget? I mean, come on Junsu, there are lots of guys out there. Guys like Hyukjae. He's been wooing you for years now. Is he not good enough for you.
"He's not him." I replied and got a glare for it. "It's not that easy. Hyukjae is a nice guy, yes, but I don't feel anything special for him. I can't possibly accept him when I know that I'm just going to hurt him. Not intentionally but I still will."
Heechul hyung put his arm over my shoulder. "But you have to forget him. Eventually. What if he never comes back?" I frowned. "I'm not being a pessimist, okay? Just stating what ifs because Junsu, you can't really tell if he's coming back or not. But remember, Jungsoo hyung and I are here for you. Talk to us anytime."
I flashed him a smile and rested my head on his shoulder. He may be a little too much about being a brother but I still love him.
I made my way to the nearest grocery store after being asked to buy instant ramyun packages. As I was checking out the racks, I saw a familiar figure. I squinted my eyes to get a better look and gasped at the sight.
My heart started to thump rapidly, trying to process everything in my head. It can't be him, right? I wanted to know. I wanted to make sure. As I walked closer to him, I couldn't help but smile widely. It is him. It is Yoochun, my Park Yoochun.
I didn't hesitate to throw myself at him, giving him a bone-crushing hug that wasn't even enough to tell him how much I missed him. "I missed you." I said, about to hug him tighter when he pushed me away.
I'm not going to lie, I did feel my heart aching from his action. He looked at me, confused. "Excuse me, who are you?"
"Don't you remember me? I'm Junsu, your friend." I said almost desperately. I don't know what's wrong but I want him to remember me.
"I'm sorry but I don't know you." he replied and walked away.
I looked at his retreating back, a tear sliding down my cheek. Yoochunnnie it's me, Junsu.
"Where are my noodles?" I was asked as soon as I stepped foot in the house. I didn't bother to answer and headed up to my room, hearing Heechul hyung call me as I passed by his room.
With a heavy sigh, I laid down my bed and stared at the ceiling, tears threatening to fall off my eyes. Once again, I stared at the ring. Our ring. I twisted it until it finally slipped out of my finger. I slipped it back again. As much as I sound pathetic right now, I am not giving up on him. If he doesn't remember me, then something must've happened, right? A lot could happen in ten years.
The door creaked open and Jungsoo hyung walked in. "Junsu baby..." he trailed off, sitting on my bed. He placed my head on his lap, stroking my hair carefully. "Care to tell hyung what happened?"
I sighed. "He's back. Yoochunnie's back."
"That's good news Junsu. You don't seem happy about it."
"I am happy. But he doesn't remember me at all." I confessed. There was no reason to hide it from him.
"Are you sure? Maybe he's messing around."
"No, I know him. I know him too well. He doesn't joke around like this." Again, I sighed. "Hyung, what should I do? He doesn't even remember me."
"If he doesn't, then why don't you make him remember you?"
I stalked him. I followed Yoochun around for weeks, to find out where he lives an what he does. Much to my surprise, he was a photographer. As far as I could remember, he never liked taking pictures. He always wanted to be a chef. It confused me but I paid no heed to it.
It has been two months and I think I'm ready to face him. I stood in front of his house and waited until the front door opened. He walked out and I ran towards him. He looked at me with his brows furrowed. "You're the guy from the grocery store. Who are you really and why are you here?"
"Hey, it's me Junsu. Don't you remember me?"
"I told you, I don't know you."
"I don't believe you." I said through gritted teeth. "I know you know me. Why don't you just admit it. Is it because of the promise, huh? Do you have someone else now? If so, I'm not mad, really. Just...just please don't avoid me and pretend that you don't know me." Tears started to stroll down my cheek but I didn't even bother wiping it. I was too frustrated to care. "You have no idea how much it hurts. I've waited for you for ten years and this is what I get?!"
"Look, mister. I don't really know you. I'm not lying. You've probably mistaken me for someone else."
"No!" I yelled. "I know it's you!" I dropped on my knees, sobbing like a pathetic child. "It's you Yoochunnie..."
"Y-yoochun?" I looked up and saw him looking at me with wide eyes. "You mean, Park Yoochun?"
Slowly, I nodded, my sobs replaced with soft hiccups. "It's you, isn't it?"
"We need to talk." he replied, pulling me up then dragged me in his house. "I'm not Park Yoochun." he said as we settled on the couch. He looked at me. "My name's Park Micky. I'm his twin brother."
"T-twin brother?"
"Yes. By any chance, are you Su?"
I nodded frantically. "Yes. Yes! Why? Where's Yoochunnie? Please tell me where he is."
He looked at me rather sadly and spoke, "He's dead."
I blinked, and blinked, then blinked some more. "I...no. No no no," I whispered over and over like a mantra, tears begging to fall off my eyes. "That's not true. That can't be true! He promised me! He promised me we're going to get married and start a family together. No no Micky ssi. Please tell me you're lying. Please tell me..."
"I'm not." he replied, pulling me in a hug. "I'm sorry but I'm not lying. He had brain cancer," he started telling me. All I could do was listen, clutching on to his shirt for dear life. "That was why we moved to America. The best doctors for his illness are there. He was doing okay until his fifth year. His organs were starting to malfunction and he had to be operated immediately. The doctors tried their best but apparently, it wasn't enough. When they told us he doesn't have more than a week to live, he desperately wanted to go back here so he could spend his last days with you. Our parents didn't allow him. He was so miserable and all I could do was try to cheer him up. I really felt so sorry for him. You wanna know a secret?" he chuckled softly and I looked up at him. "It was still you in the end. Your name was the last thing he said before he left us."
I sobbed harder. I still couldn't believe that he left me. Micky pulled away and walked off somewhere. I cried my heart out. "Here," he said, handing me a box. When I asked why, he just smiled. "Just open it."
And so I did. There were letters, lots and lots of it. "Those are all for you." he told me. "Everyday, he never failed to write something for you. I wondered why and he told me those are for when you meet again. So he could read them all to you personally. He couldn't stop talking about it. It's like everytime we talk, it's all about you."
"Thank you." I said. "Thank you for telling me."
He shook his head. "No. You don't have to. I never thought I'd find you. I'm sorry. It's been five years and I never even bothered looking for you. To make it up to you, do you wanna see him?" I clutched the box to my chest and nodded.
As I stood in front of his grave, I tried my hardest not to cry. I don't want him to see me looking so pathetic. I have to be strong for him. I knelt down and placed the flowers Micky and I bought for him. They're his favorite.
"Yoochunnie, it's me, your Su." I said, blinking back the tears. Be strong, Junsu. "How's it up there? Do you miss me? You have to because I miss you so much. It's a pity that we didn't get to see each other again but I don't have to worry, right? I can still see you. We can be together in our next life, right? So wait for me. I'll be with you soon. I promise. I love you so much Yoochunnie." As I professed my love for him, a genuine smile formed my lips.
Just then, a gush of wind passed by and I know, I just know that it's him saying I love you too, my Su.
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